This is going to be my toughest post I think! I have a special bond with my Jack. I don't have a favorite child and I love all my children, but I love them all differently! I have also spent so so so much time with him up in the middle of the night, at doctor's appointments, snuggling, etc. We just seem to click!
So a little back story on my little boy. From the very beginning Jack was difficult. I had just had my first baby and I was supposed to love being a mommy. I loved my son, but the experiences we were having were awful! He cried all the time!!! Not just a little cry and not just a colic-y time at night! ALL THE TIME!!!!! He nursed every hour and a half to two hours round the clock and then vomit everything. Not just a little spit up, projectile vomiting across the room! I didn't know that such a small baby could vomit so much and with such force! My life turned into a trained dog and pony show! I had to do everything just right to get him to keep things down and not cry! On top of all this, I had to go back to work after 6 weeks! Oh AND my husband was in paramedic school and I only really got to see him on the weekends when he came home from Provo.
At about 18 months the throw up stopped, for no apparent reason! He started sleeping through the night and you would think things were easier right? Well I had a 2 week old baby at this time! Ha! We were crazy right? That's what I was saying. But guess what, some babies come to this earth differently than others. This new baby slept through the night at 6 weeks. She didn't vomit all the time! I was beginning to see that maybe my first baby was different than most! I knew I wasn't a complete bumbling fool that couldn't raise a child!
So as Jack grew there were some things that were a little different and began to set off a few red flags. They weren't so different that I thought he needed special help, just different. This is coming from a Special Ed teacher with her emphasis in early childhood. Crazy right? Oh well, it is always different with your own child! So Jack started walking at about 14 months but never crawled. He started saying his first words about that same time, but didn't really start putting two words together when he was supposed to. I was always watching for signs of Autism, but he pointed at things, he made eye contact, and he loved being around people, so I thought there was no way! Then about 18-19 months old I went to church with my parents while my husband was at work. Jack's balance was still messed up, but he insisted on running everywhere he went. He was running towards me in the middle of the sacrament being passed and he tripped. He fell, but as he was falling his head hit the pew and then his body hit the ground. It was so awful! He didn't break the skin, but the blood started pooling under the skin. He screamed forever, but he never lost consciousness and I had my husband look at him. The fall had actually dented Jack's poor skull and he still has the scar from it! Ever since then, My little man has not been the same.
I know there is an argument that Autism hits between 18 months to 2.5 years old, so it is hard to say if it was the huge hit to the head or Autism setting in, and I truly don't know what the answer is. I have a diagnosis for him of a Brain Injury. I also now have a diagnosis for Autism. I also have a medical diagnosis of Developmental Delay as well as a school diagnosis. What this all means, no one knows what is going on! My gut just keeps telling me to continue to help him the best I can and no matter what his "label" from whatever source it comes from he is still my Jack.
The TBI and DD labels were not a big deal to me but when I received his Autism diagnosis, I kind of had a break down. We had so much going on in our life besides this, and then it became official I had a child with Autism. I cried a lot! I cried a lot for the unknowns and I cried a lot for the things I may never see him do! I just always thought he would outgrow whatever he was struggling with, I never thought it would be a life sentence. I still don't know if that is what it is exactly and only time will tell. For right now though, he will get some good services with the label and we at least will have some direction to go with getting a good education for him!
He does amaze me though! He is so loving and such a shy sensitive little dude! He does have some funny behaviors but he cares about other people and loves his family so much! When we went trick-or-treating this past week, he would always grab two pieces of candy and give one to Kate (just barely 1). He loves snuggling with me in bed! He and Audrey are the best of friends and she has really stepped up and become his guardian a little bit too. He is not yet potty trained but he is beginning to have success on the potty which is great news! He is starting to speak in sentences and I can now have a short conversation with him. He LOVES going to his Grandma and Grandpa's house and asks about going there everyday! I know he will continue to make progress and I am so glad to be his mommy!
We went up to the Easter Egg hunt at Sugar House park that was dedicated to children with disabilities! They had a whole field just for kids with disabilities and it was so fun to watch!
Jack attended Murray's preschool program last year. He got to go three days a week and he learned some wonderful things there. This is his end of the year program.
Miss Connie, Miss Millet, and Miss Shelley were saints! Jack still asks about them often. We loved them so much and they were so good to help with anything Jack needed!
A perk of Johnny working in Murray was he was able to drive the ambulance over and watch Jack's program. He had to leave suddenly because of a call, but it was still good to see him.
This was moving day. Jack was confused and asked a few times to go back to our real house, but he is fully adjusted now and loving have a bigger house and a yard!
Jack lives for Cars. He can tell you everybody's name. Oh and there is even an Emperor Zurg in there!
This was from our family trip up to Midway. We love the outdoors and he loved running outside
He and Hannah took turns jumping from the footrests to the couch. He usually isn't so daring and it was fun to see this side of him!
We rode the Heber Creeper which was the highlight of his year! He loves trains and we were able to ride one!
One of his tougher times on the trip
Enjoying some food at the ward breakfast
We rode on top of the firetruck on July 4th. He didn't eat a very good breakfast before hand and then we went and got on top of a moving vehicle. It was very hot and suddenly he started heaving and then fell back into my arms. Luckily, I was on the truck with some paramedics! We got him some water and some food and we were as good as new to continue on the parade!
The firetruck came to a fireman squirt at the library. Jack got to hold the hose and he was in heaven!
He adores his sisters! They have such a good time together!
Jack and Audrey started preschool together this year. They were going in the morning and were in the same class. After being there a couple weeks, it was decided that another classroom would probably be easier on Jack and his poor teacher and so he was switched to another class in the same school but different than Audrey. They now go in the afternoon and overall it was a good switch. It took a couple times for them to be used to being apart, but Jack is doing well in his new class!
I love this picture! Johnny took all three kids downtown after their first day and they got to see "The Big Jesus."
Jack is such a good friend to Audrey and any time I try to take her picture he comes and stands by her too.
He is such a fun kiddo and I can't to see what life brings us!
